But it's not what you think. Let me explain: I haven't done anything to betray my husband, rather it's my former literary elitism from which I've strayed. I am a fallen literary snob.
I'm reading the Twilight series.
I'm sorry, English degree. You tried to instill a set of proper, pretentious literary morals, but they wore off. I need a break from tortured memoirs and insightful novels that tenderly reveal the human condition. I want suspense, unlikely love triangles and mythical creatures. Heroic vampires and loyal werewolves. A little sex would be nice, but Edward and Bella haven't gotten there yet. I'm just starting book four.
Which brings me to the dilemma that confronts any Twilight fan like a pop quiz. Team Edward or Team Jacob? Who should Bella choose?
I'm here to offer a third option. Neither, or Team Screw This. While I am completely involved in the story - to the point where Jon looks at me warily when I'm reading and says, "Who ARE you?" - Edward and Bella are getting on my nerves. The whole you have NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME thing is out of control. My god, let that girl sleep by herself. I feel suffocated just reading about their relationship (although that doesn't hinder the furious pace I'm tearing through the books with).
Maybe it's because I was in an obsessive relationship years ago (though I would not call him the love of my life), but I want a book with an alternate ending - in which Bella gets a grip. She could even borrow some of the activities that wound up helping ME grow into myself and find some confidence. I can see it now: Bella joins the cast of The Vagina Monologues and discovers her Inner Power. Suddenly, her vampire boyfriend seems overbearing and controlling. Needing space, Bella ditches Edward and jets off to Europe, where she learns to appreciate good wine and trust herself. The end.
Yeah, I know, that version wouldn't sell any copies, and actually sort of falls into the category of book that I'm currently avoiding. Letting go, letting go...
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